No Denying

We knew it had to happen. It is the inevitable result of life on planet earth. Let me be honest with you. When I wrote the article on “The Walking Dead” I never suspected that I would be doing grief counseling for fans of a character eaten by a “walker”.

The difficulty was that since it was a pretend death in a pretend world I didn’t know how to offer pretend wisdom. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote in “On Death and Dying” about the stages of grief. She codified five emotional points that people pass through when dealing with terminal illness or unexpected loss. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages are not always neat, neither is their duration calculable.

Spoiler alert! When Glenn was eaten by zombies (I’m glad I didn’t see it) fans were horrified. He played a major role in the ongoing saga. Glenn had risen as a notable leader among his fellow survivors. How a show determines to take out a guy like Glenn is baffling. That’s why denial is the best retreat. People have asserted that he is not really dead. Replay the scene on your DVR, they say, and you can see that Nicholas fell on top of Glenn and it was his chest being munched on, not Glenn’s. That is classic denial.

According to a New York Times article from November 2007, denial is a “defense against the external realities that threaten…” Our sense of self is threatened and peace of mind undermined when any loss, financial downturn or ability to sustain a relationship becomes our experience. That makes denial a wonderful place to visit.

Denial may be expressed in several ways. Extreme joking which avoids dealing with serious issues that need to be addressed like mortgages, marital conflicts, and child-rearing. Binge eating causing obesity with its partners; heart disease and diabetes. These are no joking matters. Sexual infidelities are the causes of depression, STD’s, unplanned pregnancies and the destruction of relationships. Each of these expressions of denial leads to unhealthy living.

Admission is superior to denial. We are encouraged to confess our sins and find God to be faithful and just in forgiving us. Solomon wrote, “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” The idea is that we need to face our reality and acknowledge its impact on us. That takes grace!

God’s grace is sufficient and his power is made perfect in our weakness. Enter into a relationship with Jesus Christ and He will provide strength to help you move past denial and toward better physical, emotional and spiritual health.

Pastor Ken teaches at Cornerstone Church every Sunday at 10:00AM. They are located at 1775 Stanton Ave. Franklinville, NJ. Come and see us!